Forever Hold My Heart
by HenriaSownbinder
Summary: Ginny is having a hard time letting go.


_**A/N: So, I'm going to go Hufflepuff on everyone for just a moment. My five year old is preparing to go to school tomorrow and being new at this, it has been stressful and kind of frightening for me. I have been terrified, sad, nervous and all around stressed out. One of my loyal readers, Isabeaux3, suggested that I write about it. Because I have been terrible at writing anything lately, I took her suggestion. So, this piece is dedicated to my son, who is my little lion bred from a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff. He is braver than I am right now, because he can't wait to go. But a special thanks goes to Isabeaux3 for suggesting this. So, thank you girlie for helping me when I couldn't see the answer that was right in my face.**_

 _ **I hope everyone kisses their little ones in their lives. Because they really grow up that fast. :D And thank you for reading!**_

 _ **Happy reading!**_

 _ **Henny, that lucky Penny!**_

* * *

The small fingers in her hand were shaking. They were not shaking from fear or from laughter. Ginny Potter imagined they were shaking with anticipation. The little fingers, although not so little these days, were shaking at the wonder that is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

James Sirius Potter was holding her hand for the last time as a small boy. She know that he would go off on the red, shiny Hogwarts Express as her sweet, little baby boy to start his journey to becoming a young man. He would no longer cry out for her at night after reading about the scary creatures that their would learned about from the time they could retain information to the day they leave the mortal world.

Ginny could feel the energy coming off of her son in waves. His dark, green eyes stared at the train with a brightness she knew he reserved for adventure. James was excited to finally be going to the coveted educational institution that his parents reminicesed about. Sometimes their eyes would darken while concentrating on the more horrifying aspects of their childhoods, but once in a while, small nostalgic smiles would curve their lips as particularily fond memories filled their eyes.

This was coming of age for the young wizard; attending his parents' old school. This would be his chance to start proving he was a wizard worth his salt. James know that his story would pale in comparison to his family's, but it would be all his. He would be free to write the words according to his prefences and his palette. James would be the ruler of his destiny.

And Ginny saw it in his eyes.

And she was not ready yet.

Anxiety twisted in her gut. Saddness pricked at her eyes. Loss clenched her heart. Ginny didn't want her baby to leave her side. Flashes of evil diaries and wicked people storming the halls and corridors clouded her mind. The feeling of a familiar fear settled in her chest. This was a completely different nightmare for her and she was unprepared.

"Mum, you're hurting my hand." James whispered as a pained expression molded his features.

A warm hand settled at the small of her back. It helped to remind Ginny of the present and that htis world was safe. Gentle lips kissed her hair tenderly in a loving gesture. Ginny drew a deep breathe into her lungs and loosened her hold James' hand, but not letting go. Never letting go.

"I'm sorry, love." she murmured.

"It's alright. It didn't hurt that bad." her brave little lion beamed through the lingering pain.

"Almost time to board, son." Harry Potter said, his smile tight and almost painful. James glanced at the train and then back to his parents.

"I'll owl you right after I am sorted into Gryffindor, I promise." James swore as he rested hus gaze on his mother's pale face, "I'm not going to forget about you, I swear it." Ginny pulled in a shuddering breathe.

"Oh! I know, my darling. I am being silly. Don't mind me." her cinnamon irises shined with welling tears.

"Mum, you know I will see you in a few months, right?" an uncertain look came over her features at the start of a rare event; Ginny Potter crying, "Dad, I'm coming home for Christmas, right?" worry quickly darkened the young boy's features. Harry sighed quietly.

"Look Ginny, there is Bill with Louis and Fluer. You should go give your nephew a kiss and congradulate his on making Prefect this year." Harry gently directed his wife towards her older brother who would know what to do with a crying Ginny.

"Alright." she whispered. The flaming red head scurried over to her older brother and immediately engulfed her tall and lanky nephew in a tight embrace. Louis Weasley looked at his parents in bewilderment at his aunt's odd behavior.

"Is mum going to be alright, dad?" the timid voice that James used when he felt he had done something wrong on accident flittered into Harry's ear.

"Of course she will be. She's your mother, is she not?" James nodded enthusiastically, "Right now, she is having a hard time letting go. You are her first and therefore, the hardest. She waited the longest for you to come out. She watched you first as you learned to walk. And you were the first to say 'mama'. She loves all three of you equally, but you are special. All of her firsts were with you. That makes telling you good-bye the hardest. Being a parents takes practice. You are her practice. She will get better as you leave the nest more." Harry shuffled his feet, his face scrunched in a grimace as he let his own words sink in. He didn't want to imagine James leaving the nest too much. It hurt too much.

"But I'm coming home for Christmas! I will see her again." James was so very confused.

"Your mother knows, but the present still hurts." Harry knelt down to be eye level with his son, "You have held her hand the longest, James. That means that you have held her heart the longest too. Your mum just wants to keep you safe." the Auror held the gaze of his son as the young boy contemplated what he was hearing.

"I should go over and tell her I'm going to miss her too, huh?" James wondered after a moment of mulling. Harry nodded his head.

James stepped away from his dather and turned in the direction of his uncle and mother. Ginny was currently being consoled by an amused Billy Weasley. James couldn't help but smile at the familiar look that he would oft get when Albus would come screaming to him because of a spider. It must be an older sibling thing.

Uncle Bill caught sight of him as he neared and smiled at his small nephew as he murmured into Ginny's hair.

"Mum, I've come over to say see you later." James explained proudly. Ginny's misty eyes crinkled in confusion at his wording. James beamed proudly.

"Good luck, James." the deep rumble of his uncle's voice caught his attention. A quick kiss from his Aunt Fluer and his hair mussed by Uncle Bill and they left to wish their son luck as Prefect.

James turned his attention to his mother. More mist had entered her eyes and James understood what his father had told him a few minutes ago. He may have thought not having his mother at his side everyday would be hard, but not having him by her side everyday was almost killing her. James felt a stab of guilt in his chest. But he pushed it away.

"Mum, I'm going to miss you." he said quietly, "Who is going to sprinkle extra cinnamon in my hot chocolate, just like I like it?" Ginny smiled fondly at her son, "Not to mention, kiss my forhead when I fall down." Ginny's laugh was garbled and watery.

"Dominique is there, she can help you." her voice thick with new tears.

"She's not my mother." James responded, "I will miss you, but I know that I will see you again. Just like you will see me again. Please don't be sad, mum. It makes me sad when you are sad." the young boy pleaded. Ginny's chest expanded as a calming inhale filled her lungs.

"I will miss you too, James." Ginny said, her voice still emotional, "I love you."

"I love you too, mum." James replied as he wrapped his arms around Ginny's waist and nestled his head against her stomach.

Ginny felt her anxieties drift away. Her son would come back to her and he would always need his mother. With one hand resting over his wild hair and one splayed behind her shoulders, she hugged her son one last time before the ten minute warning whistle sounded. One final kiss on his messy black hair and James Potter was waving see you later to his nervous parents, promising to see them again.


End file.
